The Butterfly

I can't remember when exactly in the last 2 months Shell (my sister :) ) and I were talking about this, but she mentioned something about how after someone dies and you see a butterfly flying around it's a symbol of that person you lost.  I guess I hadn't really thought about it before, because to be honest I really haven't lost any of my close immediate family. 

Fast forward (just a little bit) to a few weeks ago and the Cresse's had asked us to go to lunch with them at Johnny Carino's.  We were bringing Cam along with us and he was so excited to be able to go to lunch with Daddy in the "white TRUCK!"  So as we are getting out of the truck at the restaurant he is jabbering and hopping and telling me to race him into the restaurant.  Jonathan and Courtney were already at the doors waiting for us, and as we got closer and said "hello", Cam realized that they were eating with us.....you should have seen his shoulders drop.  It was like, "aw man, you didn't tell me they were gonna be here".  We all laughed so hard because he didn't mean to be rude, he just is so bashful it was like he knew he couldn't just be "Cam". :) Well, our laughing made him even more upset and he just wanted to bury his face in my legs and disappear.  So Courtney, seeing how upset he was, asked him if he wanted to get a bouncy ball out of the machine by the doors.  Of course he perked right up and wasn't about to say no to that!  She put in the money and out came the ball.  He came back to me pretty quickly and was showing off the bouncy ball.  I took one look at it and just smiled and my heart smiled even more...in the center of the ball was a butterfly.  It was like God was saying "Blake is here, he is always with you.  I can use silly bouncy balls and whatever else I need to to make it clear how much I love you and how much Blake loves you." 

I'm not saying Blake is the bouncy ball or anything like that, but it was so amazing to me that out of all the different balls in the machine, that one came out just for Cam to play with and to hold.  Coincidence, I don't think so.  God can use anything to speak to us if we are just willing to stop, look around and see what He is doing. 

Cam would not put he ball down the rest of the afternoon, so I was able to get a picture of him holding it (above).  Then the ball disappeared and we couldn't find it but it turned up one random day and again Cam had to hold it while he watched cartoons on the couch with me. :)

We love you so much Blake and think about you ALL the time.

Jesus Chose Our Little Lamb

A story that has brought me some comfort in the last few days is taken from an old book that someone gave to us about losing a child.  Here it is...

"There is a story of sweetness and beauty which enlightens the heart of every parent who has lost a child.  It concerns a custom among the shepherd folk of the Alps.  In the summer time when the grass in the lower valleys withers and dries up, the shepherds seek to lead their sheep up a winding, thorny, and stony pathway to the high grazing lands.  The sheep, reluctant to take the difficult pathway infested with dangers and hardships, turn back and will not follow.  The shepherds make repeated attempts, but the timid sheep will not follow.  Finally a shepherd reaches into the flock and takes a little lamb and places it under his arm, then reaches in again and takes another lamb, placing it under the other arm.  Then he starts up the precipitous pathway.  Soon the mother sheep start to follow and afterward the entire flock.  At last they ascend the tortuous trail to green pastures.

The Great Shepherd of the sheep, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, has reached into the flock and He has picked up your lamb.  He did not do it to rob you, but to lead you out and upward.  He has richer and greener pastures for you, and He wants you to follow."

Jesus reached down into our flock and picked Blake out of all the babies on Friday, August 13th at 9:12am.

Okay God, you have my attention...please take me to those greener pastures. 

Not What I Had In Mind

I started this blog in June because I thought it might be nice to update the Nanas and Papas about the two little loves of our lives...Cameron (aka Handsome Boy) and soon-to-be-born Blake (aka Angel Boy).  None of our parents are facebookers, so I was considering closing down my account and actually just doing this blog. 

In July, we were living in Fort Peck and Lustre while Randy worked remotely for his boss.  We were preparing to have Blake join our lives in the following month.  There was no need to blog since we were practically living with the Nanas and the Papas that month.  It was the best thing for Cameron to be able to spend so much time with them. 

If things had gone according to our plans, I would be posting pictures of Blake at 1 month, 2 months, etc. and of Cameron being the big brother/helper that he so naturally is.  Instead, this blog will most likely be focused on the events of August that completely turned our world upside-down.  I will still have updates of Cam and pictures of him as he grows (and grows!).  I'm hoping this will be a place of healing for myself and those who read it.  Be prepared to cry, to laugh, to hurt, to hope, and to be amazed!  Not amazed by me (haha), but by God who has been so close and so real in the past 7 weeks. 

As the title of the post says, this is not what I had in mind, but we are rolling with the punches and have hope that there is so much more for us ahead. 

God is LOVE.
becca jo